The
Washington Post is running an article on a proposed system of tolled express lanes for the Capital Beltway and its interconnecting spurs.
For those of you who may not know, DC has some of the worst traffic in the country and is home to a highway system designed by a crack-addicted, brain-damaged Chimpanzee (what other kind of asshole designs a spur where within 1/4 mile, five two-lane on ramps merge into a 3 lane highway?).On any given day, it normally takes about 45 minutes to drive 6 or 7 miles.
Anyway, the article is absurdly hilarious. Apart from that fact that I still don't understand how they're allowed to place tolls on an interstate, the notion that anyone out there thinks that this might actually work is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. A toll road is still a fucking road and as soon as it opens, it's gonna be backed up. Why? Because they could never, ever build a new road big enough to make up for the 40 years where they built no roads. And, to be honest, it's stupid to even try.
The article expresses this best, though. Here's an excerpt:
Motorists would drive on the Capital Beltway during rush hour at the mind-blowing rate of a mile a minute. Drivers would zip from Fredericksburg to Frederick without hitting a single traffic jam.
In this strange, new world, people would run errands whenever they pleased, vacationers would leave town without spending hours in traffic, and express bus service would be launched on the region's major commuter routes.
But these dream scenarios come with a cost: a toll as high as a dollar a mile in heavily traveled areas during peak times. A 56-mile commute between the Fredericksburg area and Washington could cost as much as $30 if a driver chose the traffic-free route, according to one analysis.
These 21st-century traveling possibilities are the result of fast-moving efforts in Virginia and Maryland to build a network of express toll lanes -- roads on which tolls increase when traffic levels rise to manage demand and prevent jams -- that would parallel nearly every major route in the Washington area. The existing routes would remain free -- and packed.
The emphasis is mine, and I think it highlights the stupidity of this idea.
One, "a mile a minute" would be what, 60 miles per hour? Oh, hey what a coincidence, that's THE FUCKING SPEED LIMIT! Two, the best part about this plan is that apparently I'll be able to actually leave my home to do things. Imagine that? Three, up to a dollar a mile and 30 bucks for a 56-mile trip is so expensive that if you're making under 45K a year commuting into the city every day, you're better off taking a job at one of the four Starbucks across the street from your house*. And four, it doesn't actually fix the problem; at all. If they're going to spend all that time, effort, and money on a road that is to expensive to use, thereby not actually alleviating any traffic, why not just spend the money to create an agency devoted to fucking people up the ass?
What? It'll create more jobs in the long run. Really.
* - Here's some math:
$30 for a 56-mile trip twice a day comes to $300 a week (5 days).
$300 a week comes to $15,600 a year.
A 56 mile trip twice a day comes to 560 miles a week (5 days).
280 miles a week comes to 29,120 miles a year.
At $2.25, the DC average for a gallon of 87 octane gas, 29,120 miles a year comes to about $12,942 a year.
Total cost of commuting: $28,542 per year.
$45,000 - $28,542 = $16,458
According to Fortune Magazine, the average salary for an hourly Starbucks employee is about 35K per year.
The Sun Sentinel is reporting that yet another tropical storm has formed in the Atlantic.
