Random Thought

I hate the iPod. Well, actually, I hate iTunes. I really, really hate iTunes. I hate iTunes so much that I hate the iPod through their association.

I've been trying to update my girlfriend's 3g iPod for the better part of a week, now and the fucking thing still won't recognize any of my god damned playlists.

Fuck you, Apple, and your unnecessary interface software. You couldn't just make the damn thing drag and drop? You're a bunch of fucking assholes, you know that?

Maybe you can answer a question for me, though. Are you all asses with holes in them, or just holes completely surrounded by ass?

I'll hate you just the same, I guess, but I'd just like to know.

And yes, I had to make the picture myself. It's almost impossible to find iPod hate in an image search.

Comic Book Day

Yeah, yeah, today is comic book day, but instead of posting a goofy picture to go along with this post, I decided to go with a slightly creepy cover of Supreme Power, Marvel's extremely dark and gritty take on DC's Justice League.

Here's what I'll be picking up today:

• Supreme Power #18
• Green Lantern #4
• Wonder Woman #220
• The Ultimates 2: Vol. 1 TPB
  

I'll probably thumb through The Flash #225 and Robin #141, but I somehow doubt that I'll actually buy them.

I've also been meaning to pick up a copy of The Watchmen, but since I'm already buying a trade this week, I think I'll wait.

The Wonder Pizza, huh? Sure...

The Wonder Pizza is a pizza vending machine that cooks and serves a 9 inch pie in about 2 minutes.

I don't like this machine. As you can see from the product page, it makes a jumbled mess of crap that looks more like some sort of ass hemorrhage than a pizza.

Maybe I'm just spoiled having grown up in a place that had a New York style pizzeria on every corner, or maybe I just have higher standards than most people, but calling that shitfest a pizza is an insult.

Anyway, do me a favor and tip this thing over if you ever see it out in the wild.

Via Gizmodo.

More on the Heliodisplay

OhGizmo! has an exclusive interview with Chad Dyner, the creator of the Heliodisplay, that offers a great deal of insight into the technology and operation of the first commercially available 3-dimensional display.

Of particular interest, is the fact that this product appears to be the commercial version of what sounds like a much more advanced classified military technology.

Bad ass, indeed.

Sadly, though, the base model starts at $18,000, with the 42 inch model priced at $28,000.

Check out IO2Techonolgy for more information.

Diamond Shipping List 08/31/05

Supreme Power #18 comes out this week and good god, it's about fucking time. I don't even remember when the last issue came out. Had to be sometime in June, I think. I hate Marvel.

Anyway, other than that, there doesn't look to be a whole hell of a lot going on this week. DC is really dragging their feet going into Infinite Crisis. Man, that had better not suck.

See the list here.

For All Our Technology...

Chances are, if you've met me, you know I like to complain. I'm not happy unless I'm unhappy and if something bitch-worthy hasn't happened to me lately, I'll go into one of several already-prepared rants.

One of them used to be about my glasses fogging up whenever I walked outside. It's a horrible annoyance that has plagued me for most of my life. So, depending on how much pent-up hostility I'm carrying around with me at any given time, I can jabber on about this for anywhere between 10 and 20 minutes. My usual point is that we, as a society, waste technology on stupid shit, like the mostly useless plethora of iPod accessories, instead of fixing common and long-standing problems, like fogged up glass.

Well, my dreams have come true. Slashdot is reporting that scientists at MIT have developed a "unique polymer made of silica nanoparticles" that will either greatly reduce or completely eliminate fogging.

Now all I want are my god damned flying cars!

Portable Car?

And yeah, before you say it, I know that any object capable of its own locomotion is technically portable. But check this thing out anyway.

Apparently it's call the Mazda Suitcase Car and it's - wait for it - a car that folds up into a suitcase. Well, fine, it's really more of a go-cart, but those are cool too.

Anyway, found this via OhGizmo! via Fosfor Gadgets via 3Wheelers.com.

The car was part os some sort of internal design competition Mazda had for its engineers back in the early '90's.

Go here for lots of pictures of the thing surrounded by some Russian text!

Oh, and maybe you can help me on this one. Is that a kid or just a really young, good looking midget? The cell phone is throwing me off.

Crisis Counseling - 08/29/05

New Crisis Counseling up over at DC.

All I gotta say is "Damn."

After Wonder Woman so callously snapped Max Lord's neck two week's ago, I didn't think they were gonna do anything too big until the end of the current Mini's, but shit, the fucking Psycho Pirate?

Didn't see that coming at all. Nice to see that Power Girl might actually get a real origin again. She really got screwed after Crisis on Infinite Earths. I had a feeling DC was gonna make some mention of her former identity as the Earth-2 Supergirl, but I didn't expect it to be so blatant.

I hope it ends up that she really is Kara Zor-L from an alternate universe. Makes sense with all the other clues they've been dropping.

Anyway, I'm sure that no one who reads this will have any idea at all what I'm talking about; I just felt the need to reinforce my Dork status.

Holy Frak! LEGO Digital Designer

LEGO is offering a 3D designed program for creating custom built sets.

Once finished, you can forward you design to LEGO to have a custom package created containing all of the parts necessary to actually build whatever crazy-ass contraption you came up with. (Maybe I'll finally be able to finish that scale model of the Bridge of the Enterprise, now.)

Anyway, looks like LEGO finally caught on to the sheer awesomeness of LDraw. Hopefully, though, this will be a little easier to use. Getting the blocks to line up in LDraw was complete and total bitch.

I'm sure these custom sets won't come cheap, though. Pricing seems directly related to the number and type of blocks used in the design.

CrashBonsai - Art that Honors Drunk Midgets

CrashBonsai is a site where you can buy Bonsai trees with little cars crashed into them.

It's pretty self explanatory, really, and the website is fairly low tech. But the concept is kinda neat.

And yeah, just "kinda."

For a hundred and fifty bucks I could go buy a wreck at a junkyard and lean it up against the tree in front of my building.

As if Dead Soldiers Weren't Bad Enough...

Some group of crazies in Smyrna, TN have decided to discredit and invalidate themselves and their beliefs by holding a protest at the funerals of two Tenn. National Guardsmen killed in Iraq.

That ain't the clincher, though. They weren't protesting the war or even the president; they were protesting the existence of gays!!!... !!!!...!!!!!!!

Apparently, they feel that god is punishing American soldiers for serving a country that "harbors gays." I guess they don't think that our biggotrous leadership in the State and Federal governments are doing enough by trying to strip homosexuals of all their rights.

What a bunch of fucking losers.

Read more about it here.


Oh, and just in case you were wondering, the guy in the caption is actually a Marvel Comics villain named Hatemonger. I shit you not.

New BattleStar Galactica Podcast

There's a new Podcast up for "Home Part 2," tonight's episode of BSG.

If you're not watching this show yet, get off your ass.

What's stoping you; a life?

Hyper-whatsit?

Yeah, Hypercolor shirts are back. Yippidy-fucking-do...

Found this over at OhGizmo!

For those of you who may not know what these are - either because you're lucky enough not to remember early 90's fashion, or because you lived in a cave or something - Hypercolor clothing changed color based on temperature. More specifically, the shit changed color when it got hot.

I remember these things not working too well when I was a kid; certainly not as well as in the picture. Thinking about it now, though, there were probably two reasons for this. One, I was a fat kid. And two, I was a fat kid in South Florida. I was always hot.

Anyway, for more on the "technology" behind these things, Wikipedia does a pretty good job of making it sound moderately impressive.

Save Yourself a Step

The Aquariass is an aquarium toilet.

I'm not really sure what else to say about this other than that it just seems like a flawed idea.

The product page doesn't go into too much detail, so I can only guess that this is either a tankless toilet made to look like a tanked model, or that there's some kind of false wall in there that keeps the flush water separate.

Otherwise, wouldn't you need new fish after every flush?

The company also makes some other strange products, including a squishy sink basin made out of silicon and some kind of crazy-assed inflatable shower chair.

Oddest part about this whole thing, though, is that while the company, Elseware, Inc., is based in Brooklyn, their website is listed under the domain for Kingdom of Tonga, which, of course, is our ever vigilant partner in the War on Terror Struggle Against Extremism.

Random Thought

Say I hire you to do something for me.

I send you a contract along with the explicit instructions that the thing must be signed and returned in order for you to get paid. You don't send it back, but I know you're working.

Several weeks go by and I send you the contract again, this time with an amended statement of work. Again, I send it with explicit instructions stating that I now need both the original contract (you know, that thing you ignored from before) and the amended statement of work signed and returned in order for you to get paid. You send back only the amendment.

Several months pass and it's time for you to get paid. I'm a nice guy and I want this to be as simple as possible, so I send you the original contract again, this time with a prepared invoice, both of which need only be signed and returned in order for you to get paid. You send back only the invoice.

Now I ask you, do you still deserve to get paid?

I say no, and that maybe this little exercise'll learn you to follow some simple god damned instructions.

Apparently, though, I'm wrong.

And that's why god kills puppies.

Avoid "Metro Hand" with the TranStrap

For those of you who don't know, Metro Hand is the debilitating form of Leprosy one contracts by touching anything on the D.C. subway. Props to Lexatron, by the way, for giving this horrible affliction a name.

Anyway, the TranStrap is a little hook and strap dongle that lets you hold on to overhead subway poles without actually touching them.

It's a nice idea, but it still won't save you from the 340lb mass of wasted human potential who will inevitably sit next to you on an otherwise empty train and who sweats and coughs all over you and half crushes you because their fat ass doesn't fit in single seat.

But, whatever. At least it's something.

Leap Tall Buildings in a Single Bound

Well, sort of...

The PowerQuick Ascender is a device developed by the DoD to help soldiers scale vertical surfaces.

The thing can lift up to 320lbs at speeds of up to a meter per second. The idea is that you'd shoot up a grappling hook and a cable to the roof of a building and then use the PowerQuick harness thingie to quickly make your way to the top.

The military version will run on solid fuel and will hold enough of a charge to climb 250 meters!!!! For those of you not familiar with the foreign quirkiness of the metric system, that's about 820 feet, or about 2/3 the height of the Empire State Building.

The idea behind this thing was hostage rescue and urban warfare, but I think someone at DARPA secretly wants to be Batman.

Props to Reuters on this one.

Micro Fuel Cells for Consumer Electronics

I found this thing earlier today on one of the gadget sites I frequent. I'd lend credit, but they're all carrying it now, so it doesn't really matter.

Anyway, I'm posting it because when I told some friends about it, I realized that I had no idea how it worked.

All I seemed to retain from the article I read was that the UltraCell25 is a methanol powered micro fuel cell that can power a laptop for what I perceived to be a pretty impressive length of time. The thing is about the size of a paperback novel and is light enough to be called portable.

At this point, my friends pointed out that I only seemed to know some rather vague and superficial details about this thing. They, in their tenacious audacity, demanded to know the specifics. Why does it use methanol rather than hydrogen? How is this more efficient than a regular battery? And how does it actually generate electricity from this methanol shit?

To put it bluntly, I don't have a god damned clue. The last time I took a science class was 1998. Most of what I know about technology, I pick up from Slashdot or the Discovery Channel.

So I went back to figure it out only to find the following explanation from their product brochure:

Our Reformed Methanol Fuel Cell (RMFC) technology uses a revolutionary micro reformer to generate fuel-cell ready hydrogen from a highly concentrated methanol solution.

As you can see, that's about as much help as a swift kick to the nuts.

So I give up. For as much as UltraCell is willing to tell me, this thing could generate power by smearing Voodoo enchanted goat snot over a decapitated giraffe carcass.

First Google Talk Hack: < 12 hours

It should have been obvious that this was gonna happen, but in less than 12 hours? Damn.

Anyway, I picked up on this via Download Squad, so I'll let them do the commentary.

Essentially, the hack lets you broadcast mp3s and podcasts through the voice chat feature of gTalk(?). You can only broadcast to one person at a time, though, so it's kinda limited.

This is all fine an nice, but I'm holding out for the hack that wipes my ass for me.

What the hell is this?

The P-Mate is apparently a device that enables a woman to pee standing up.

Here's an equation for you:

How much crack do you have to smoke over what length of time in order to design such a thing?

Don't know? That's ok. Beats the shit out of me, too.

For an aneurysm, check out the instructions page.

Yay! Comic Book Day!

So, it's Wednesday, and Wednesday means comic books.

It's picking up a bit this week, but I'm still only looking to pick up four titles today.

I dunno, I suppose that's normal. I guess they just aren't lasting me as long.

Jeez, does that mean I'm becoming an addict?

Whatever... It's not like it's crack or something...

Anyway, here's what I'm picking up today:

• Adventures of Superman #643
• Day of Vengeance #5
• JSA Classified #2
• The OMAC Project #5

I'm also considering Teen Titans #27, but I don't really give a shit about Hawk and Dove, so we'll see.

Google Me, Damnit!

Google has launched their new instant messenger service, and it is good.

Google Talk actually went online last night (well, their Jabber server did, anyway), but they actually released their own client this morning.

It's a pretty nice program. The client itself is completely ad-free, which immediately makes it a more pleasant experience than AIM, and features full integration with Gmail. In fact, you need a Gmail account to use Google Talk.

The service also features a voice chat feature, which Google apparently plans to expand to a full-blown voip service, and a nifty little Gmail notifier, which is almost completely useless to me since I already have one through Firefox.

The coolest thing about Google Talk, though, is that an instant message to an offline buddy is automatically routed to their Gmail account. Yes - yes, I know. Super keen, indeed.

Eventually, the Google Talk client is supposed to have interconnectivity with other services (AIM, MSN, Yahoo, etc.), but, right now, it's just Google. You can, however, access your Google Talk account through multi-client programs like GAIM or Trillian, but you'll be missing out on a lot of the service's features.

Diamond Shipping List for 08/24/05

Diamond Comics Distributors has this week's shipping lists up and while there's still no joy on Supreme Power this Wednesday, the preliminary August 31st list claims that issue 18 will be out next week.

I'm guardedly optimistic. Marvel has fucked with me before and I still have trouble sitting on uncushioned surfaces.

Hmm... Smells Like DARPA

The BBC is reporting a new type of drug that can reverse the effects of sleep deprivation.

Apparently the thing works on monkeys, so far, which calls to mind some very strange images of lab experiments, and was a joint study between Wake Forest University in North Carolina and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA).

For those of you who don't know what DARPA is, it's the DoD's scientific research agency. They do all sorts of crazy experiments and have researched just about everything imaginable.

Here's some of the stranger things they've done:

• Bionic implants
• mechanical exo-skeletons
• telepathy
• teleportation
• holodecks
• flying saucers
• jet packs
• faster-than-light propulsion

They've also yielded some extremely useful things, too, like stealth aircraft technology and the internet.

Google Earth Major Update

The Google Earth Community has posted a list of cities that either been added or enhanced in Google Earth.

Among them are some places that I actually care about.

Since Google Earth checks for new info with every use, there's no need to download anything to access the upgrades.

I don't think these new images extend to Google Maps, though, which is really quite a shame since I can't use Google Earth on my work box.

This is Why I Gave Up on Religion

CNN is reporting that Pat Robertson, jackass and super-bigot extraordinaire, is calling for the United States to assassinate Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez because "It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war."

He also claimed that Chavez is exporting communism and Islamic extremism(WTF?).

It's been a long time since I took any overtly religious person seriously, and this, right here, is exactly why.

Crisis Counseling

DC Comics has posted this week's update to its Countdown to Infinite Crisis.

Not a hell of a lot went on last week. The only "Crisis" related storyline was Manhunter #13.

Come to think of it, last week was pretty slow for all of the DC titles.

Completely Fucking Insane LEGO Serenity

Here's a guy who made Serenity (the ship from Firefly) out of LEGOs.

The thing is only half-scale to the mini-figs, but still, it's pretty damn huge. Add an intricate lighting system and you've got something worthy of a museum.

The model was originally intended to be on par with the size of the figs he created, but apparently that was too much...

I dunno. To me, the difference there seems like the difference between 95 and 100 degree weather. Once you get past a certain point, it all feels the same.

When Are They Gonna Have That Earthquake, Already?

The San Francisco Chronicle is reporting that Democratic activists in California are looking to get Steve Jobs to run against the Governator in the state's next gubernatorial election.

The article isn't exclusively about Jobs, though. Among the other notable personalities mentioned are Rob Reiner and Robin Williams.

Not that I really have anything against these guys, but really, what's wrong with electing politicians to political office? That's what they do.

I dunno; maybe it's the same thing that makes people want a plain spoken and folksy president. To me, that just seems stupid. Why would you want some "average" guy leading the country? Average people do stupid things like cut you off in traffic and take an entire cart full of groceries through the express line.

Give me a super-intelligent, well-spoken politician any day. At least then I can trust that the dude knows what he's doing even if I think he's an ass.

Creepiest. Thing. Ever.

Egg Babies

Who buys this shit?

I'm sure it's unintentional, but these things have got to be the creepiest things I have ever seen. They're even worse than those porcelain dolls old ladies collect whose eyes seem to follow you around the room.

Here's the gist from Camille Allen's website:

The Egg Babies are individually hand sculpted in polymer clay by hand. The babies range in size from 2 to 5 inches. The eggshell makes a cute cradle, and emphasizes how fragile new babies are.

I can't imagine a market for this type of thing, but she's apparently sold out. Go figure.

Comcast Takes Customer Disservice to a Whole New Level

Anyone who's had Comcast as a cable provider know that they're not always easy to deal with, but this story out of Chicago is just absurd.

I always assumed that the rather shitty level of customer service provided by Comcast was just the result of employee apathy, because really, if you had that job, would you give a shit?

Apparently, though, they've now started a new initiative to publicly humiliate their customers who have the audacity to demand actual customer service. A female subscriber who complained about service problems had her billing name changed to "Bitch Dog" and was actually sent a bill a bill reflecting the change! They really sent it out. WTF?

I can understand some internal frustration being vented about belligerent customers, but this is a bit much.

The article also describes another incident, though in less detail, about a power company doing something similar. In this case, though, the customer's name wasn't replaced, just amended. In this case, a guy named Jeff Barnes had his billing name amended to "Jeffery Scrotum Bag Barnes."

I'd almost find something like that funny if it happened to me.

Super Mini Ultralite Indoor Happy Fun Plane

Here's a new RC airplane that's made for indoor use. Yes, this little bugger weighs only 3.6g and will fly in any room as small as 12' x 16'.

The thing comes with a carrying case and some ridiculously small electronic components.

The only problem seems to be the price, though. At $239, the Butterfly Livingroom Flier is definitely not a toy.

Holy God-Damned-Rediculous-Number-of-Special-Features, Batman!

Batman Begins is coming to DVD this November and Warner Bros. is really bringing down the hurt.

One, two, and three disc versions of the film will be released, each adding what looks to be an exponential number of special features.

Here's a run-down from DVDAnswers.com:

Warner has officially announce two editions of Batman Begins which stars Christian Bale, Katie Holmes, Gary Oldman and Liam Neeson. Both the single-disc, and double-disc deluxe DVD's will be available to own from the 18th October this year. The single-disc should retail at around $28.98, whereas the two-disc edition should set you back around $30.97. Both discs will carry a 2.40:1 anamorphic widescreen presentation, along with English and French Dolby Digital 5.1 tracks. The only extras on the single-disc will be a Batman Begins Mobile Game Demo and some Weblinks. The two-disc deluxe edition will carry that, along with a Genesis of the Bat: Batman Incarnations from the Mid-1980s to the Present doc, a Journey Begins: Creative Concepts, Story Development and Casting featurette, a Shaping Mind and Body: Fighting Style featurette, a Gotham City Rises: Production Design featurette, a Cape and Cowl: The New Batsuit featurette, and another featurette on the new Batmobile. Completing the package will be a Path to Discovery: Filming in Iceland featurette, another featurette on the Monorail Chase Sequence, a Confidential Files Character/Weapons Gallery, an exclusive 72-page comic book containing the very first Batman story, a Batman: The Man Who Falls feature on the classic story that inspired the film, and a chilling excerpt entitled Batman: The Long Halloween that also inspired the film. We're also expecting an audio commentary to be included too, although that wasn't confirmed within the initial press release.

I think I'll get the 3-disc version. I'm pretty interested in that comic.

Hey, you kids. Get off of my plot!

It's shit like this that reaffirms my decision to leave Florida.

Some guy came up with a video tombstone.

What the fuck?

Now, anyone who visits your grave can watch a compilation of your happiest moments captured on film.

Personally, I'd like to see this used for more dubious purposes. For instance, if this were actually available to me, I'd record a message telling people to watch their step and then rig it to a motion sensor so that it flicked on everytime someone walked by.

As if cemeteries weren't creepy and sad enough already.

To the Moon, Mao. To the Moon...

Yay, China's going to the moon!

How god damn sad is that? We can barely get our asses into orbit and China is planning a fucking moon mission.

What is this, Bizarro World?

Well, jokes on them, really. The US could lay a legal claim to moon through the Writ of Discovery, the ancient (is 600 years ancient yet?) law that lets the first visitors to a land claim it as their own. It was internationally recognized and never officially done away with (sort of became moot when we'd been everywhere). The several US flags stand on the moon, technically fulfilling the requirements of the writ.

So really, if China goes to the moon, it'd almost be like they were invading the US.

Anyway, read more about it here.

Yes, but I Like Being a Loser

So, it's Wednesday and that means it's comic book day.

As if you cared, here's what I'm planning to pick up this afternoon:

• Green Lantern #3
• Lex Luthor: Man of Steel #5
• Manhunter #13

The list is a bit thin this week, so I might also pick up the new JSA trade "Lost." The new Batman: Journey Into Knight maxiseries looks interesting, too, but I think I'll just wait for the trade.

I'm still waiting for the next issue of Supreme Power. Fucking Marvel. For more on that, though, see my post from the other day:

Diamond Releases New Shipping List, Marvel Continues to Blow

"Billgrimage"

CNN is reporting a new(?) travel phenomenon in Arkansas that they are apparently calling the "Billgrimage."

First, let me say that "Billgrimage" is probably they funniest word I've heard since "fuckwit." Second, I really dig the actual story that they're reporting here. The Clinton Presidential Library is apparently proving to be quite popular, with the draw of the former president extending all the way out to his childhood home in Hope.

God, I miss Bubba.

Diamond Releases New Shipping List, Marvel Continues to Blow

Diamond Comic Distributors has updated their weekly shipping list and still absent from it is the next issue of Marvel's Supreme Power. Damn it, you ass clowns, it's been almost two months. What the fuck are you doing over there?

For those of you who haven't experience the sheer, mind-blowing awesomeness of Supreme Power, here's a quick run down. The book is basically Marvel doing DC's Justice League, except edgier, more violent, and uber-realistic (you know, for a comic book).

Anyway, the last issue came out almost two months ago and I'm getting pretty god damn tired of waiting.

Sweet, Sweet Lego

So, apparently I have a tendency to miss the coolest things that happen around me.

This past weekend was no different when I failed to realize that BrickFest 2005, the largest Lego convention in the country for adult collectors, was taking place in my own back yard.

I was literally less than 50 feet from this place on Sunday, damn it.

Anyway, read the write-up about it at Wired News.

Crisis Counseling

DC Comics has posted this week's update to its Countdown to Infinite Crisis.

This week's installment summarizes the events of JLA #117, Action Comics #830, Breach #8, Nightwing #111, Rann Thanagar War #4, and Villains United #4.

The Great Shame

Here's an interesting site that gives a more accurate picture of how the United States was divided in the 2004 presidential election.

Michael Gastner, Cosma Shalizi, and Mark Newman at the University of Michigan use polling data from both the state and county level and use it to proportionally distort maps of the United States based on individual votes and the electoral college.

The results are strikingly different from what the Bush Administration would have you believe, what with their claim of a "mandate."

Talk About Watching the Clock...

Should you find yourself with absolutely nothing to do, why not check out this super fun happy clock thingy?

I've got no idea its purpose, but it's sort of hypnotic.

Should kill a good five minutes.

New Homeland Security Work Rules Blocked

It truly warms my heart to see that the agency charged with my protection has a seeming disregard for federal law.

The DHS has had its new work policies blocked by a federal judge because they essentially destroy employee and union rights.

Nice to know that they really care...

The article can be found here at The Washington Post.

The site requires an account to read the paper online. Even though it's a free account, it's pretty annoying if you're not a regular reader. So, check out BugMeNot for a shared login name and password.

Everything's Bigger in Texas... Including the Idiots

Bush neighbor takes aim at 'doves'
Shotgun blasts startle anti-war protesters

CNN is running the above article about one of President Bush's neighbors who fired off a few shotgun blasts to intimidate the group of protestors that have been hanging around his property.

Not that I don't understand the guys frustration, but gunfire seems a little much.

What struck me most about the article, though, were these two quotes that, to me, indicate a fairly significant problem with Texas state laws concerning firearms:

"Asked if there was an underlying message to the shots, which he fired harmlessly into the air, Mattlage told a reporter, "Figure it out for yourself.""

And:

"McLennan County Sheriff Larry Lynch said Mattlage had broken no laws."

Too Much News for Your Brain to Process

Do you like online news but think it should come in a crazy, flash ridden, multicolor interface?

Well, then News Map is the site for you.

The map itself is cobbled together from Google News feeds and is apparently meant to display the ever changing "landscape" of the news.

I'm not sure exactly how the size and position of the stories are determined, but my guess would be that they're either ranked in order of initial posting, or by how many different sources are carrying the story.

Either way, it's an interesting site that'll either help you get a better grasp on the news or send you into an epileptic seizure.

No Such Agency

The National Security Agency seems to have updated their website.

I haven't been there in a while, so this could be old news, but the design is an interesting one - lots and lots of Flash.

It's really cool looking, actually. So cool, in fact, that it doesn't even look like a real government website.

They've also got a slightly creepy Kids and Youth Page.

Can you hear me now, asshole?

Ever wonder how that magical silver box in your pocket allows you to communicate with other people?

Well, if my question is actually a pretty decent illustration of how you understand cellular technology, this will probably confuse you further. But, for the rest of you who still have a few functioning brain cells, this little Google Maps hack might be of some interest.

Mobiledia, here, offers an index, complete with maps and signal strength, of what looks to be all of the cellular towers in the United States.

Keep in mind, though, that this index isn't the be-all-end-all of the cell tower question. Not all towers are listed because you only need to register with the FCC if you go over a certain power level.

Anywho, check it out here.

Well, at Least You'll Die with Nice Skin

I feel the need to comment on this article.

I took this drug for 5 months (considered a full treatment) back in 1997 with amazing results. It truly did work wonders. It was a strange drug to be on, though.

In no particular order, here are some of my observations about this medication:

• It's an acne medication that came in pill form. That was strange in and of itself, but the pills were huge. My best friend started up on the stuff right after I did and I remember us joking that they were some kind of horse pills. These things were a chore to swallow.
• I had to have blood work done on a weekly basis for the first month, then biweekly for the remainder of the treatment. I don't think I realized it at the time, but that had to be some pretty powerful shit to warrant constant monitoring of all of my endocrinological functions.
• Follow the instructions on the packaging or else that shit will fuck you up. Every individual pill was sealed with a notice to not take the shit if you were pregnant. That didn't really apply to me, but I still got the picture. Two of the biggest rules of the medicine, though, aside from not getting knocked up, were to always take the pills with either a meal or a glass of whole milk, and not to go out in the sun for any extended period of time. I broke both of those rules and paid for them in turn.
  
• Taking the pills without a substantial amount of food or milk in your stomach resulted in the pill being digested to quickly. I could literally feel the thing pop in my stomach. The rush of medicine would fuck up my equilibrium and I'd either have to sit down or risk falling over.
• I went out in the sun for too long towards the beginning of the treatment and ended up with the most awful sunburn I have ever experienced. The treatment initially draws out all of the acne under the surface of the skin before it makes it all go away. The sun reacted with this and gave me a blistered and peeling look for about a month.
• This shit has some strange side effects. I was fortunate enough to only be stricken by the what I would consider the good side effects; namely, weight-loss and a heightened immune system. Another friend of mine got jaundice from this stuff and had to be taken off of it. Apparently it's also been known to cause schizophrenia in some cases and make patients more likely to commit suicide.

Bottom line is, this is some freaky shit. When it works, it completely eradicates acne, but it's a risky venture. Some of the more severe side effects hadn't yet surfaced when I went on this stuff, so I elected to take this stuff with relative ease, but I'm not sure that I'd do the same today.

Mmmmmm... Baby...

Damn, this thing makes me want to go steal a baby. Sort of reminds me of the time I decided I could be a fighter pilot just because I didn't get sick on the Incredible Hulk rollercoaster at Islands of Adventure.

Anyway, the thing is some sort of ultra-versatile, ergonomic stroller that takes some of the sting out of having to change shit-filled diapers several times a day.

Aside from the aesthetic elements, the thing I like most about this thing is that handle and back wheels look to be designed for people with long legs. Whenever I end up pushing a cart or something, I always end up kicking the back of the thing every few steps.

Anywho, the thing costs $749 bucks, which, I'm told, is kinda pricey for a stroller. But really, can you put a price on badassity?

Checkout the product page here. Thanks to OhGizmo! on this one.

Ah, Milk. The Creamy Lactose Avenger...

Milk is cool again, I guess. The Seminole County, FL public school system thinks so, at least.

Partnering with T.G. Lee Dairy, the county school board introduced a new initiative to encourage its students to eat healthier, this year. Apparently, the only thing they really did was change the packaging of the milk they sell in the school cafeterias. Oh, they also added strawberry flavored milk too.

They cite some study that claims kid buy more milk, and thusly have a healthier, more balanced diet, if the milk is packaged in the flashier plastic mini-jugs rather than the standard paper carton.

I can dig, I guess. Colorful plastic is cooler than two-toned paper, but it seems kinda half-assed to me. If I was gonna do something to improve the kids' diets, I'd probably start by not serving french fries and tater tots with every meal.

Read more about it here.