God Damned, No-Talent Ass Clowns!

Damnit! Damnit, damnit, damnit!

For those of you who know me, you know that I rarely "buy" DVDs. Now, that's not to say that I don't have an extensive movie collection; the 15 binders in my living room will attest to that. But, for me, actually going to a store and purchasing a retail DVD is something I do maybe once a year. The last movie that I decided I liked enough to buy was Office Space, a film that basically fits my professional life like an undersized speedo.

The DVD itself was rather disappointing in that it was your basic, no-frills digital port of the film with animated menus listed as the only "special feature." It seemed fitting, though, for such an odd little movie, and because I love it so much, I was just happy to have a copy that was impervious to magnets.

Well, imagine my delight this morning when I saw that a new version of the movie is being released on DVD, this time, as a "Special Edition with Flair!" Yay! Wow! Superfun!

But here's the problem: I already have this fucking movie! Oh, and as if to just dump on me some more, the special edition is cheaper than the bare-assed original! WTF?

I'll still buy it because I'm weak, but I shouldn't have to, damn it. In fact, I should never have to give the film industry my money ever again. After wasting hours of my life on utter monkey shit like Mars Attacks and Battlefield Earth, those stupid bastards should be paying me.

Wait. No, they shouldn't be paying me. Scratch that. They should FedEx me my very own studio exec. to wipe my ass for a month. I mean, did you see Battlefield Earth? They should be so lucky to handle my shit.